Saturday, September 10, 2016

I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a Transgender Child

I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a Transgender Child

Published July 8th, 2016 by Cheryl B. Evans
ISBN 0995180717
230 pages

What is unique about this story is that it follows one transgender child from birth through age eighteen. You get a real sense of what this family went through. Their son's desperate effort to comply with societal gender norms, a suicide attempt, a family member's struggle with God and transgenderism, a heartbreaking death and much more. Every step of their son's transition from female to male (FTM) is discussed in detail, including hormone replacement therapy and sex reassignment surgeries. This book shares it all in the hopes of making a difference in what seems like a harsh and cruel world for transgender people.

The journey this family took is spelled out in the pages of this book in the hope that it offers encouragement, support, and wisdom to others. Mom shares many of the resources she used along her own family’s journey and extends to you a friendship that goes far beyond the pages of this book. This book can help pave the way to acceptance and understanding. I Promised Not to Tell - Raising a transgender child is an honest and timely memoir.

This is an engaging read written through the eyes of a loving mother with a transgender child. The prose reads like you are having a personal conversation with the author who being a greenhorn when it comes to writing did well with composing this book.

The sole purpose of this book is to educate all people about what it is to be transgender. Therefore, is not exclusively intended for families with a transgender child, but for all people due to the importance of knowing what it means to be transgender in today’s society. The correct term is Gender Dysphoria where people identify with a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth due to genetics and the biological makeup of their brain. Transgender is not about being gay or straight. It is not a mental illness. They are not pedophiles just because they want to use the bathroom that matches their “gender identity”. The book does explain all aspects of what it is like to have Gender Dysphoria from how it affects them mentally, the physical alterations that have to take place, also the enormous effects on the family and how detrimental it is for the family to be supportive and understanding.

“The most basic thing about transgender people is they truly believe they are the gender they identify with! Transgender women do not think of themselves as men wearing women’s clothing, they ARE women. Naturally, they should be in a woman’s washroom.”

This is not the first book that I have read in regard to someone's journey transitioning from one sex to another, but it is the one I have learned the most from. I believe this is due to the fact that it is written from the viewpoint of a person who is standing back and watching it all occur whereas also involved. Therefore, everything the mother saw or went through with her child so does the reader. You are there when Jordan first goes to school as a boy, you are educated by the doctors at the same time the family is, learning about the importance of hormones, go through surgeries, and learn what a packer is along with his outstanding mother. In addition to, the obstacles that you do not think of like having to change the gender on passports, birth certificates, and driver's license. It is hard, but Cheryl gets it done.  

The word of God says love thy neighbor, it doesn’t say love thy neighbor except for the ones you do not like...It also says in the bible that God looks at one’s heart, not at one’s outward appearance.

This is not just a book it is a learning experience. An important one for people of all ages. There is so much more I would like to mention about what I read, I could brag about this book for pages, though I think it is more important that you pick up a copy and read it for yourself.   


As you can see there is no picture of Cheryl, keeping it this way so she does not out her son as transgender so he can live a normal life! Wife, mother, friend and author. Cheryl B. Evans was born and raised in Canada. She has been happily married to her husband for more than twenty-three years and together they have raised two wonderful children, one of whom is transgender.

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